Well, He Was Confused

Today while I was finishing up at school following Meet Your Teacher, DaddyMan finished up smoking the brisket that he had going AND making a delicious meat dish that I can't say the name of AND making tabouli AND cleaning up the whole kitchen from the mess AND appling another coat of wax to the new floors.

He went to put a load of clothes in the washer (I know you are lusting after him right now but stop it because that is wrong of you and because he is all mine!) at which point LittleMan said to DaddyMan,

"Hey, You are not The Mommy!"

Confused, indeed.

PS - I have a feeling that tomorrow I will post about the first day of first grade, but after that, how about a few pictures of the new floors? Yes, you say? Well stay tuned.

I got Wii-ed!

This is why they have that warning about attaching the safety strap to your wrist.

It only takes one day and twelve hundred dollars

So all summer I've been working with LittleMan on using the potty.

These are things we tried with absolutely zero success:

• allowing LittleMan to pick out awesome underwear
• giving up the Pull Ups and going in underwear
• going naked
• going to the potty every 7 minutes
• moving the potty to the living room
• trying to sink Cheerios
• talking about how big boys use the toilet

In addition to this, LittleMan spent an entire day talking about one of his girlfriend's (Shout out, Margaret!) panties! (I feel compelled to tell you that LittleMan never saw Margaret's panties, but that did not stop him from speaking about them for the better part of a random Tuesday.)

Despite all of my efforts, there were no results! None, nadda, nothing.

Well, Monday I dropped him off for his first day back at daycare.

When I called to check on him that afternoon, I was told that he had an "accident" at nap time.

Honestly, I thought he may have punched someone, got his finger stuck in something, twisted himself up in his Lightning McQueen blanket, etc. so I asked what happened. His sweet little teacher said, "Well we couldn't get him to use the toilet before nap, so he woke up with a wet PullUp."

What?

Was that the first time he had a wet PullUp?

He used the toilet?

You mean, he actually peed in the toiled, not just went in there and looked at it?

I have to tell you the questions raced through my head like no body's business! I was confused. I was amazed. I was in awe. I have to be honest here and tell you, I was a little bit angry.

Apparently he used the toilet twice that morning, had previously mentioned nap time accident and used the toilet again in the afternoon.

That's right people, write your check and drop your kid off. In just one day, there will be toilet success!

(Disclaimer: Actual amount of check did include sister's tuition for 3 weeks as well. Just in case you were thinking that I was smoking crack or had hit the lottery or was taking my child to some obscenely overpriced DayCare facility just so they would teach him to use the toilet in one hour... however there was a point in the summer when I had loaded the washer with 7 pairs of wet football, soccer and basketball underwear and mopped up 3 puddles of pee where I might have actually considered an overpriced solution to the toilet woes we were experiencing!)

Just keepin' it real people, just keepin' it real!

Heard Around These Here Parts

So recent days have been full of activity, hard work, and some funny stuff. I like this little blog because I am in charge here and can say what I want. With that said, I feel compelled to tell you that my sister has called me (lovingly, I'm sure) "The Embellisher" on 3 or 73 occasions. This may be because sometimes I like to add flowery details to my stories that may or may not be actually what happened in effort to make the audience more interested in what I am saying. But friends, what you are about to read, it is true. Not embellished. At all. Real life stuff.

Picture DaddyMan and I working on something in the kitchen while PrincessGirl and LittleMan were playing outside. The back door was open. Suddenly, DaddyMan hollers, "PrincessGirl, STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER ON THE HEAD WITH THAT PINATA STICK RIGHT NOW!" This is followed by her going to time out for the longest time I've ever witnessed (except for when we forgot she was in time out) and a lengthy discussion about how the heads of real live people are NEVER filled with candy and prizes and how regardless of how hard you hit them on top of the head, the most interesting thing that will come out is guts and bloody.

Picture TheMommy awakened by a distant cry that seems to be getting closer and sounds like LittleMan but even in TheMommy's slumbered stupor, she knows LittleMan's crying could not be getting closer because he cannot open his bedroom door by himself. Imagine the darkness of 4 AM and the cry of a traumatized 2 1/2 year old boy that has learned to open his bedroom door just this very moment as he says, "My dyinks come out ob my mouf, my messy all ober my bed." Because of the smell that accompanied LittleMan, aforementioned slumbered stupor did not keep TheMommy from realizing that LittleMan had thrown up for the first time. A lot. Of Chicken Express. And Sweet Tea. And Marshmallows. Don't judge, it was the 4th or by this time 5th of July.

Well we are back in our house after the Great And Only Floor Replacement That Will Ever Take Place Ever and I intend to post some pictures of the process and the beautiful finished product real soon.

That "real soon" part above may actually be embellished a little bit or even a lot.

More Flags, More Fun For Sure

Summer Vacation Day 1
I cooked up this awesome plan for my first day of summer vacation. I decided that since LittleMan could go to Daycare for the final day, it would be a perfect day for PrincessGirl and I to go to 6 Flags. After all, if I was going to make her into a roller coaster lover, I'd better get started. I measured her height to make sure we weren't going to be stuck in Looney Toon Land all day and sure enough, she was tall enough to take on some of the fun coasters that I have grown up loving.

We dropped LittleMan off at daycare and hit the park. We were there when it opened and got our party started. When we first went to scan our tickets, we learned that PrincessGirl's free ticket was not good until June 15, she looked at me and said, "We're not going home are we?" and I bought her a ticket. We get our bag checked and learn that we will not be allowed to take our aerosol sunscreen into the park so we hosed off really well and "checked" our sunscreen.

Let the rides begin: We rode El Sombrero, Conquistador and then a test, would she be tall enough for the La Vibora (aka: Bob Sled). Sure enough, she meets the height requirement and loved it. At this point, I realize she cannot be stopped. We travel through the park riding everything we come in contact with. PrincessGirl is brave and is having the time of her life. There are no lines, the weather is really nice - it is a perfect day.

I had to make her take a break to eat lunch. She inhaled half of a corn dog and some fries before telling me to hurry up so we could go ride some more stuff. On Tony Hawk's Big Spin, PrincessGirl exclaimed, "I'M DROOLING!" and when asked if she was ok she said, "THIS IS AWESOME!" I took that as a yes.

As our day came to an end, we decided that we would get a Popsicle and make our way to the Judge Roy Scream. When we got to the front of the line, I discovered that my little Brighton change purse that had been in my pocket all day was not there. I was crushed! It contained my ID, my Bank of America Check Card and about $100. I quickly send DaddyMan a text asking him to cancel the card and PrincessGirl and I made our way to Lost and Found with desperate hopes that the little change purse had been turned in. It was not there, but the security person offered to phone the ride where I thought I lost it. I remembered it being in my pocket on the Roaring Rapids. She phoned the ride and it had indeed been turned in there. She sent an officer to the ride to get it and would you believe that everything was in there? That was almost as thrilling as taking my little girl on her first roller coaster.

It was a great day and I'm so glad that we spent some time enjoying girl day at 6 Flags.

I love you, Summer Vacation!