It is so hard to believe

6~19~03

That was one of the most precious days of my life. You see that was the date that our tiny princess made her grand entry into our lives. Here's some of the details of her debut as it is etched on my heart and in my memory.

After being approved as adoptive parents, I carried my (rather large) cell phone with me everywhere I went. I had special permission to keep it turned on while I was teaching, I took it with me even if I was just running a quick errand, it was by my bedside. I probably took it to the restroom with me. I was in the workroom at Parkway Elementary when I got the call that we had been selected by a birth mother and that she would like to meet us in person. I was put on speaker phone and introduced to T. She told me that she would like to meet us and that she wanted us to be the parents of her baby girl. Daryl and I took a day off of work (I missed field day) to go to A. to meet her. We wanted to take her some sort of gift that she could keep to thank her for the sacrifice she was making for us. We decided on pearl earrings. Pearls are June birthstones. The meeting went really well. We fell in love with her and we were in love with the baby she was growing for us, too. The baby was due in 4 weeks.

I continued to carry that phone. We got regular updates after doctor appointments. I checked on T. regularly but I have to admit, I would have preferred to just move to A. for 4 weeks and take care of her until the baby was born. On June 18th, we were out to dinner with some friends, Stewart and Michelle. The phone rang several times during dinner - time would stand still as I looked at Caller ID and always reported to the other 3 that it wasn't her. As we finished dinner, Michelle remembered that her baby book came with some pages to use if the baby was adopted, she wanted us to have them, so we went by their house on the way home to get the pages. Stuart ran inside to get them as the rest of us waited in the car. The phone rang again. I looked at the phone and saw T's number. I looked at Daryl and Michelle and shook my head yes as I answered. She said it was time.

Stuart and Michelle took us home (it was 4 blocks but it seemed like it took 4 hours) as our minds went into overdrive. We were thinking about all of the things we needed to gather and take and most of all we were thinking about that baby that she said was ours. We trusted God that He had made this plan for us but we were still apprehensive. So apprehensive in fact that Daryl threw up several times before we even left and several more along the way. We decided to get on the road before we started making our calls to family - we didn't want to delay progress. As we gathered our stuff, Stuart videoed the progress. He added some commentary from behind the lens all the while documenting the departure process - sideways. He did not realize it, but the camera was sideways the entire time. Ask me to show it to you sometime - it is a hoot.

In route, we called our parents to let them know we were on the way to A. My mom and sister would come the next morning and soon to follow would be Daryl's mom and dad and my dad. When we arrived in A., we quickly found T's room and went in to see her. She looked gorgeous. She was on a petocin drip earlier, but the doctor had stopped it and would restart it the next morning at 6 am. We visited for a while and met T's friend that would be with her during delivery. Her friend turned out to be a really neat girl that "tells it like it is" and that would turn out to be a very good thing. T needed her rest for the big day, so we left. We were greeted in hallway by a nurse that told us they had prepared a hospital room for Daryl and I. We couldn't believe it. We were going to be able to stay right there in the hospital that night. We were both thankful we were going to be so close. We didn't sleep at all.

The next morning, we got up and showered and spent time with T and her friend. T told us that she would like us to be in the room with her right up until time to push. We were thrilled that she would want us so close. I don't have any idea what all we talked about that morning, but we talked alot. I was especially touched by the way T referred to the baby as "your baby" meaning mine and Daryl's. I think that gave us even more confidence in her decision. We always left the room while T was being examined. With our inexperience, we didn't know how long a thing like that might take so we'd usually take a walk or make a call to update our folks about the progress. One time, T's friend came looking for us. She told us that we need to get back in there because T really wanted us in there with her. She said it was good for T and reminded her that she had done the right thing. You better believe we didn't go far from that room from that moment on.

When it was time for the baby to be born, Daryl and I were moved to an adjoining room. It connected to the delivery room by a small supply closet. The baby isolette was in this adjoining room and suddenly all the pediatric nurses appeared. They talked to us about what would happen when they brought "our baby" in. I don't know if Daryl heard any of what they were saying. I know that is the only time in my life I have ever felt like I was having an out of body experience. I sincerely felt myself watching myself and Daryl and all of the activity. We were taken into that little closet and the nurse told us to listen. Daryl and I were holding each other so tight and so close and listening with all we had in our hearts. By the time our minds recognized the fact that our ears were hearing our baby cry, Karsen Jane Salyards was in view. The nurses quickly took her to the isolette and worked on her a bit as we cried, held each other and watched. At one point, the nurse turned around to us and said, "You can touch her, she's yours!" We melted as we stroked her tiny face, hands, feet and tummy. She was beautiful. The nurse kept asking me how much I thought she weighed. I sure didn't have much experience with things such as guessing a baby's weight but she looked little to me so I guessed 6 pounds. He said that he would be surprised if she broke 5 pounds. Karsen weighed in at a whoppin' 4 lbs 12 oz.

She checked out fine and we were able to take her back to our room and feed her and love on her for a really long time. During this time, my mom and sister arrived. It was perfect timing. They took pictures as we went into the nursery to give Karsen her bath. We all spent time holding her and telling her how much we loved her and how glad we were to be her family. Daryl's mom and dad arrived later that afternoon and they were smitten with her as well. Daryl and I also spent some more time with T. We also got to meet more of her friends and show Karsen off to them. They were all very sweet to us. We gave T a pearl necklace and made her promises to love and care for Karsen and to make sure that she grows up knowing the love and sacrifice that T made for her.

We spent the night in the hospital again that night, this time as a family of 3. It was really funny because we had lactation consultants knock on our door several times to ask if we needed any help with feeding Karsen. We just said no thanks. We were dismissed the next morning. We got our directions from the nursery and pediatrician and we left with our baby. We were to stay in A. until we signed paperwork so we checked into our hotel with a nice suite and waited.

One of our friends visited us in the hotel. She told us how she and her husband were eating out the night before and while she was in the restroom, she overheard someone on their cell phone. This lady was telling the person on the other end how great T had done and how tiny the baby was and how nice and sweet and proud the parents were and how glad T was that she made the decision she did. She was clearly talking about us. What a gift that was that our friend overheard this conversation. What a gift that will be for Karsen someday.

A birth mother is required by law to wait 48 hours to sign her paperwork. That would have been on Saturday. T wanted support from her family when she signed and that meant that her papers would not be signed until Monday. Daryl and I were not anxious about the additional wait at all. God just gave us a perfect peace about the entire situation. Monday morning came and it was time to make it official. We drove to the agency and signed our paperwork and took pictures and were free to go back home.

It is so hard to believe that was 5 years ago. Our baby is going to kindergarten soon. She is kind, beautiful, inquisitive, energetic, loving, strong and brave. We are proud of her and we are proud to be her parents.

Happy Birthday Princess Girl!